


and if the sun should lift me up (would you come back?)

by WhatsATerrarium



Category: The AM Archives (Podcast), The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Sunrises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:27:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsATerrarium/pseuds/WhatsATerrarium
Summary: Of course it ends with a sunrise.Things end as they begin.
Relationships: Joan Bright/Owen Thompson | Agent Green
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	and if the sun should lift me up (would you come back?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thefigureinthecorner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefigureinthecorner/gifts).



> So I got this idea at around 4am one night after seeing [this absolutely amazing art](https://thefigureinthecorner.tumblr.com/post/639354490243399680/whoops-im-back-on-the-tama-angst-train-ft-me/) Marcus posted, wrote most of it, forgot about it, worked on it some more, then forgot again.
> 
> You hurt me with sunrise crimes, I attempt to do the same to you. It's the way of the world.
> 
> The title is from "C'mon" by fun. and Panic! At The Disco.
> 
> Not proofread, we die on the battlefield like men.

The sight of the sunrise is never something she thought would make her feel so disoriented, so terrified, so  _ physically sick. _

Of course it ends with a sunrise.

Things end as they begin.

_ “I love you.” _

_ She turns to face him because she wants to see how he reacts. Somehow it’s an even better sight than she had been imagining every time she ran through this moment in her head. Her memory could never do that smile justice, and even if it could, this is still the biggest she’s ever seen it. He’s still a bit sleepy-- she doesn’t think he slept nearly enough last night-- so he seems even more caught off guard, and there really is no way to accurately remember just how deeply perfect he looks in the morning. With his hair still messy from bed, his eyes fluttering tiredly, and his sentences punctuated and interrupted by adorable little yawns. _

_ She says it as the sun is rising, watching the first slivers of daylight illuminate that beautiful, dumbfounded, grinning face. _

_ “I love you too.” _

Things end as they begin.

The sun rises, and maybe she’s grief-stricken and delirious, but she swears it’s at its brightest the moment he says it. She swears that when he says that, tells her those familiar words she hasn’t heard him say in so long, the rising sun hits the widow just bright enough to nearly blind her.

That when she fully regains her vision, able to take in the sight of him again, his eyes are fluttering closed and he’s muttering the final syllables.

“...need you to be happy.”

Her love for Owen begins as it ends.

_ It begins with her leaning against him, staring at him and thinking about how damn beautiful he looks in the morning light, saying it because at this moment, she’s sure of it. _

It ends with her wishing it wouldn’t. It ends with him going quiet, with the slow movement of his chest up and down ceasing entirely, with him fully visible as the sunlight casts through the window onto him, like a spotlight sent from the higher power she doesn’t believe in to put him on display.

_ It begins with her feeling content, full. _

It ends with an emptiness that she can feel almost immediately.

Because she thinks something in her can sense that he’s no longer here. Not in the sense that counts. And so now her body knows that that love and that hope that she’s been holding onto for him all these years now has no object, nowhere to go.

She’s not empty, she’s aimless.

The sun is rising and she feels something leave her, like her soul is growing lighter.

_ The sun is rising and she’s right here with him. She’s happy in his arms and they’ve got all the time in the world. _

The sun is rising and with every passing second he looks less and less alive.

_ They’re starting the new day together. _

She’s starting the new day without him.

_ She doesn’t want to start a single day without him. She’s deciding that now. She could spend a million mornings like this. _

She’ll start a million more days without him there to see them.

_ Every morning for the rest of her life _

Every morning for the rest of her life.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So a big reason why I don't usually leave comments is that it doesn’t feel like a conversation, it feels too definite. So, as opposed to asking you to leave comments (which I do still very much appreciate and will respond to if that’s your thing), I’m going to let you know how to contact me!
> 
> Instagram: whats_a_terrarium  
> Discord: whats_a_terrarium#0251  
> Tumblr: whats-a-terrarium  
> Twitter: whatsaterrarium
> 
> If you have any thoughts, ideas, constructive criticism, or just want to ramble, never hesitate! :)


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